Have you got a drink? Put it down. These guys will probably make you spit it all over your screen.
Part of the reason for doing these profiles is so we might be able to identify each other on the day and strike up conversations easily. I must say, after this interview I’m really looking forward to meeting these guys at Breca Swimrun although I wouldn’t accept a drink off them during the race…..it might be sabotage.
Team Name: 2 Slow 2 Win 2 Dumb 2 Quit
Team Members: Manuel Campana / Dino Sarpi
Who are you, where are you from and how do you know each other?
Dino: My name is Dino, the result of an eclectic mix of Iranian and Italian blood resulting in what was summarised in the year book as a Terrorist Pornstar… being a terrorist is no longer cool and the pornstar days are long over or were just wishful thinking! I have known Manuel since I was 10? but didn’t talk to him for several years because he was hanging out with ass-holes.
Manuel: Just for the record, we were 13. And very good friends. Then something yet unknown to mankind happened in his brain and he stopped talking to me. Then one day he must have come to his senses and here we are, good friends again. Go figure. I’m really enjoying our friendship now though. Hopefully he won’t change his mind again.
Anyway. I’m Manuel, 100% Italian, no terrorist at all, let alone porn-star. Web developer by day and nothing by night because I have a tendency to fall asleep straight after dinner.
Manuel: Not a triathlon mainly because it would involve buying a bike or race on a Boris bike (although I’m still considering the latter). Not a normal race because I keep listening to my friend here. I should probably learn how not to.
Dino: No longer terror-porn-starring-wishful-thinking, so this was the next best thing!
Where do you see yourselves being strongest?
Dino: Weeeeeelll…. so…. Manuel…. basically… he will try very hard. I am there to try and make sure he finishes. As for everyone else, please go faster else you may be used as a flotation device.
Manuel: What do you mean ‘try’? You WILL make sure I finish! Also you’ll make sure I finish ALIVE! Won’t you? Yes you will. I’m sure he will.
Also if I find an effective way to make him tow me without realizing it, we may even aim at a decent time. But seriously? My strength is definitely my teammate. We’ve known each other a long time and we love spending time together. The fact that I’m doing this race with him gives me a big hype. I’ll try my best not to slow him down too much but in any event I’m sure we’ll enjoy every second of it.
Are you happy with your teammate?
Dino: Manuel is probably the best team mate you could wish for. I always wanted to…
Manuel: *interrupts* I didn’t have much choice to be honest. I’m just not sure whether or not we’ll still want to be friends after the race.
Dino: What?!?!? …drown him, so here I will have the opportunity.
Manuel: Hahaha! See? Friendship is in jeopardy already!
Any amusing stories you’d like to share with us?
Manuel: Amusing stories about Dino?
So… *coughs* …first of all I have to say that my storytelling skills are not that good and this guy here is such a character that you’d have to know him to fully understand what he is like. Me telling a story doesn’t even cut it, plus the funniest episodes are usually quite obscene in a way or another.
Having said that, there is an episode that can be published uncensored. We were in north Wales for a double ironman (needless to say I was only supporting) and the participants had to do registration the evening before the race. So in the afternoon we were meticulously going through the mandatory kit list that needed to be approved at registration. It occurred to me that said list wasn’t very precise and left a lot to interpretation. For example they required to carry at least a certain amount of drink to avoid dehydration. But they didn’t specify in what container. A bottle? A bladder? A flask? And they didn’t even specify what kind of drink. Water? Energy drink? Orange juice? Presumably it was irrelevant. However, with Dino taking part, they should definitely have specified.
So off to registration we went. The lovely lady who checked us started going through all his stuff. First aid kit, check. Waterproof jacket, check. Whistle, check. Head torch, check. Drink….. er…. excuse me Dino, where is your mandatory drink to avoid dehydration? And he simply replied “well, your list wasn’t very precise so…. there!” pointing at his bike.
Dino: I didn’t finish the race… seriously! Our friend Chris had to pick me up off the side of the road at midnight after 150miles of cycling.
Have you looked at the course map yet? Is there anything making you nervous?
Dino: Bring it on.
Manuel: There’s a big difference between looking at a graph on the screen with your hand scraping the bottom of a pack of crisps and actually running that graph. But the thing that makes me nervous the most are the constant reminders from Dino (e.g. Emails with subject: “You’re in the shit now!”).
What have you done in the past? Give us a brief background.
Manuel: Until last year just some sporadic climbing, some recreational skating, a lot of snowboarding, and the rest was in front of an Xbox. Then last year, probably due to a premature midlife crisis, I joined BMF (British Military Fitness) and started doing various OCRs (Spartan and whatnot), some swims, aquathlons, etc. Now I’m trying to move towards fewer but more “serious” events. Let’s see if I’ve got what it takes.
Dino: I have participated in several running, swimming and triathlons (I have a feeling this might be a modest understatement folks!)
Are you planning on any particular races in the build up?
Manuel: Nothing planned yet, but I’ve got at least a couple of swims in mind. As for running, for now I’m giving some rest to an injured ankle but normally I train on the hills of Hampstead Heath and enjoy the beautiful views that my local park has to offer.
Will you be making a weekend of it or is it a splash,dash & grab?
Manuel: My hope is to make a weekend of it. I’ve never been there and I’d love to enjoy the place and bring home some nice memories; other than just pain and suffering. Let’s see if the girlfriend will oblige.
Dino: Girlfriends decide.
Are there any questions you’d like to put to other teams/organisers/experienced swimrunners?
Manuel: Can you all pull out, please? Jokes aside, I’d love to read other interviews. It makes the race more personal. I understand it’s a race so you kinda want to demolish the other competitors (be prepared guys, I’m ruthless), but usually you just race with other people and getting to know them a bit more is something that could really make a better event.
As for the race itself my biggest question mark is the amount of stuff to carry and how. I guess experienced swimrunners might be able to help there?
Dino: The secret to a good time is proper lubrication, so how do you stop chafing from happening during a swimrum event!?!?
You mean SwimRUN right?
Manuel: No no, that seems plausible, I’m pretty sure he meant swimRUM
Pick a famous duo you can compare yourselves with:
Dino: Tom & Jerry? Road Runner & Willy Coyote? Pinky & The Brain?
Manuel: No no no. I don’t want to be Tom nor Willy. Let alone Pinky. Pfft. I was thinking more something along the lines of Mario and Luigi. Then my girlfriend got involved and she suggested the Chuckle brothers. I had no idea who they were so I googled them. I think I want a new girlfriend.
To you, to me, to you, to me…
Afterparty Karaoke song of choice?
Manuel: Uh oh… this is not going to end up well… we could be on a very dangerous ground here… especially after a few tequilas. We won’t say anything for now to avoid compromising the little reputation, if any, we’ve got left.
If you’d like YOUR team to be featured on here, drop a comment below, or on twitter, or send me a message and we’ll get on the case. It would be great to get as many profiles before race day as we can. Fast, slow or just in it for a laugh, I’m fascinated to see who we’re all up against!
And for some great SwimRun tips make sure to read this interview here. Its got everything from kit-tips to videos on how to transition.